Journal: The Pressure of My Life

I've been driving myself insane the past week with the pressure I've put on myself studying...or lack thereof. Though I have 3 months before my exam, I'm behind on in my study plan, which has caused me to stress about whether or not I'll be ready in time for June. The pressure I've put on myself has already caused me to start breaking out, which is a common occurence when I'm studying, but usually only happens the week of my exam, and not 3 months prior. The reason why I feel so much pressure, is because I've somehow managed to convince myself that if I pass in June, my life will be 10x better than it is now, and that if I fail, it'll be 10x worse. This is mainly driven by the fact that if I do pass, I'll be able to move out this summer, have a vacation, and just relax until I start studying for the 2nd level. But of course if I fail, I won't move out, I'll just continue studying until December w/o any vacation, and I'll have to pay $500 to re-write the exam.

I think one of my main worries, is that there's nothing stable in my life at the moment. Where do I see myself 1 year from now? I have no idea. The only thing that I have a relative assurance of, is that I'll have a certain core group of friends that I can talk to and hang out with. But the general information such as job, address, and relationship status, are all virtual unknowns as far as I'm concerned. I know where I'd like to be in 1 year, and I feel like it all hinges and one factor. and that is whether or not I pass this exam.

Reflection: Another Year Goes By

Another year has gone without you. It's starting to feel like a long time ago that we last laughed and hung out. Playing ball, chillin in your basement, talking about our girls, opening presents on christmas, or just chatting online. The vivid dreams are less frequent, and I'm sad to admit that life is moving on. But know that you're never forgotten and that you're always loved. That will never change, and today will always be a sad day. Rest in Peace Dean. One love son. Always.

Journal: "Ken, what's that on your HAND?"

So before I jump into the Titled story, I'll give a quick recap of what's been going on in the past few weeks:

1. My new job has been great so far. It's not high stress, it's not long hours, and my co-workers are nice. All in all, it might be the best job I've ever had.

2. Because I don't have to work long hours, it affords me plenty of time to study for the CFA exam I'm writing in June. Though 3 months away, I'm trying to go as hardcore as I can, cause it's just a shitload of material to go through and learn. I'm actually thinking that I don't have enough time to learn it all. Not at the pace I'm going anyways. And I've made a deal with myself that if I pass this exam, I'll start looking for a place downtown this summer. If I fail, then I'm obviously just an idiot with absolutely no future prospect, so what the hell's the point of moving downtown. That's my reasoning anyways.

3........ummm.....I think that's it. That's my life. Work and studying. Let me think......nope, yea, that's it. ok, onto the story:

So, I met up with Ken for lunch, and we decided to eat at the TD food court. I bought a $9 dollar salad for the Lettuce Eatery (the most I've ever spent on a salad in my life!) and Ken got a Hero Burger combo. So, near the end of our lunch, I notice this stamp imprint on Ken's hand. The conversation goes as follows:

Me: "Hey, what's that on your hand?"
Ken runs his hand through his hair as if trying to get something out of it
Me: "No, your hand"
Ken takes another swipe through his hair
Me: "haha, no what's that on your hand" I pronounce clearly
Ken takes a more violent swipe through his hair
Me: "YOUR HAND" and I point to his hand frustrated and amused
Ken: "oh..heh heh heh..autoshow"

The End

ahhhh, good times.